caiden had never believed in love. his mother hated her husband, and the feeling was mutual. he had no idea who his father was, and besides, he doubted his parents had loved each other if his father didn't even know of his existence. love wasn't real and people were meant to be used and discarded. this was the attitude he carried since his childhood, and the same one he held when he first met adyra.
he treated her like he had everyone else: disposable. he lied to her to get what he wanted from her, then treated her horribly. and like so many before her, she slapped him and left his room in tears. and just like he always did, he ignored it and moved on with his life, figuring he'd never see her again.
but this was not to be their last meeting. two years later, he ran into her on a ship to the south, and she gave him the most hateful glare he had ever felt the force of, but he just shrugged it off, though it was an inconvenience to have to see her again. they both made it a point to avoid each other, but it was a small ship, and occasionally they could not avoid running into each other. she would say something biting and cruel, and he would respond with cool disdain until the sexual tension became almost unbearable, resulting in two days in a locked cabin before they made land, after which they parted ways, truly hoping to never see the other again.
of course, it didn't quite work out this way. it was another four years before they would see each other again, but they would see each other. time had softened adyra's hostility towards caiden, but his heart was still stone, and though she was willing to move past things, he was not. and he used her trust to his advantage—he told her all sorts of lies until she melted into his hands and he could do whatever he wanted to her, and then he once again threw her away.
a year later, he saw her from a distance and was truly struck for the first time by her beauty, and for the first time, he thought that she deserved better than to be used by him. he swiftly turned around and left and prayed that he wouldn't see her again. he had resisted temptation once already.
fate had other plans however, though this time several years would pass before he saw her again. this time, she saw him first, and to his absolute bewilderment, she walked up and kissed him. and then she slapped him and told him he needed to shape up, which made a lot more sense. to his own surprise, he found himself asking her if she would help him. she seemed reticent, but to his surprise once again, she said she would.
they quickly developed a "no physical contact" rule, much to caiden's disappointment, but she told him if he wanted to be a better man then he had to play by her rules for a while. so he did. and as he spent time with her, watching her and learning about kindness and love from her, he found himself wanting to erase all his past sins and be someone she could be proud of. that task seemed nearly insurmountable, but for her, he would try.
seasons changed and years passed, and the pair found themselves still travelling together. caiden had fallen really and truly in love with adyra by now, and he hated his past self for the sins he had committed not only against her, but so many others. he wished he could take everything back and be someone deserving of her, but that was impossible. he knew now what love felt like, and he wished he had chosen to believe in it all those years ago.
finally, he decided he had to tell her how he felt. even though she would reject him, even though it might ruin everything, he needed her to know that he had changed—that she had showed him how beautiful love really was. his heart pounded in a way he hadn't known it could, and he expected unequivocal rejection—but instead, she laughed and told him that this was his last chance and he better not mess it up. then she kissed him, ending their years without touching, and he swore he'd never hurt her again.
though he never wanted to look back when he left home, his youngest sister would write him endless letters begging him to return home, and in the end, he was unable to deny her, and maybe he didn't want to. so, with adyra at his side, he returned to the home he'd once hated so much. but, once there, the two of them started a new life together, one that was full of love and joy, and he never regretted going back.
